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Joke of the Day

"Woman sends emotional text that's 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with ""k."" Woman spontaneously combusts."

"My girlfriend has Parkinson's Disease. And the hand jobs are AMAZING!"

"What idiot called them Ex-fiancees' and not 'Near-Mrs' ?"

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell."

"What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord? Two flutists playing in unison."

"A whale asks his dad ""Dad where do I come from"" The father whale replies, ""well from my penis"" ""Oh. Thanks."" Responded.the junior whale ""You're whalecum"""

"Why didn't Santa's father get a ticket for speeding in the sleigh? A grandfather claus got him out of it!"

"What do you call an amorous vampire? A neck-romancer"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion."

"Two atoms walk into a bar... One says, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" ""Yeah, I'm positive!"""