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Joke of the Day

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"I don't know how to spell Armaggedon But who cares - it's not the end of the world!"

"I think cheese gets sweaty because it's hard sitting around being delicious."

"Where did Robin Williams go after he died? To the Mork."

"What do you call the mythical cookie baking creatures with strong vaginal muscles? The *kegel*-er elves."

"What's the difference between a good Samaritan and a Jew? A good Samaritan means well, whereas a Jew is just well, mean."

"Eve: I got an Apple. Adam: ... Eve: ... Adam: ... Eve: What? Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android. Eve: The serpent said this was better."

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind that's always shooting his mouth off."

"What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg? AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"very windy and rainy out today.... THANKS TRUMP"