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Joke of the Day

"Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant? Because he was cold and calculating."

"The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired...and all of Target went silent."

"Me: ""I have octopus like reflexes."" Person: ""Don't you mean cat like reflexes?"" Me: *squirting him with ink* ""Nope."""

"[First Date] HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist? ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all! HER: ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women."

"Raising ones leg and releasing a loud fart is a proper response for any man who doesn't like his wife's tone of voice."

"What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A mosquito can ""fly"", but a fly can not ""mosquito""."

"Subway, Eat flesh. (If Hannibal Lector owned chain restaurants.)"

"What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up"

"What song does a car radio play? A cartoon (car tune)."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I'm not really sure. The air is clean. The mountains are beautiful. The flag is a big plus."