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Joke of the Day

"Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year."

"Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing."

"Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed."

"I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds.""... I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds."" ""Don't you mean dollars?"" she replied. ""I know what I mean,"" I said."

"Why didn't the rest of the fractions like ""mc"" very much? Because he was generally known to be a square(ed)."

"Struggling with Christmas Presents??? If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas... Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it!"

"With all the different ways to sat the same jokes, how would you know it's not a repost? You just wait for the comments to link you up."

"The even numbers said... The odds are against us."

"It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up."

"2 men walked into a bar The third one ducked"