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Joke of the Day

"It must be so good to speak signal language. You can talk with your mouth full"

"Lady: How old's your son? Me: He's 3. Lady: Wow, he has great hand eye coordination. Me: You should see him play Grand Theft Auto, he sucks"

"Why did Helen Keller fire her maid? Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling"

"Working for sanitation truly is a thankless job Not only do you have to take your boss's shit, you have to deal with everyones"

"How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York? About 6 hours."

"Damn girl, are you Chile? ""Why, because I'm tall and thin?"" ""No, because you make my vagina as dry as the Atacama desert."""

"My wife was choking so I quickly googled ""how to save a life"" Was a good song to drown out the noise she was making."

"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."

"What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents? An elf driving car"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans."