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Joke of the Day

"It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up."

"When you talk you repeat what you already know; but if you listen you often learn something new."

"My friend went to a party as the Spanish Inquisition... Nobody expected him"

"How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now"

"Right now the United States and China are tied in total Olympic medals! Of course we trail in Gold medals because every time we win one we have to turn it over to China to pay our debt!!!"

"Looked at changing my name to Bieber so I could get RT'd. Realized I can't b/c I have a penis."

"Why can't anarchists draw straight lines? Because they don't have any rulers."

"I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. ...oops, wrong subliminal"

"If I see another Robin Williams post... I am going to kill myself"

"For some reason I'm an extremely secretive person. Don't ask me why"