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Joke of the Day

"I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds.""... I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds."" ""Don't you mean dollars?"" she replied. ""I know what I mean,"" I said."

Next Joke
 
"My wife calls me a ""five times a night"" man I've always had a weak bladder"
"HER: Let me know when you get your shit together. ME: So I guess this is goodbye."
"What does the sign of an out of business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed."
"I want to watch a porn where both people scream out lengthy Starbucks drink orders when they orgasm"
"My wife told me her bra and boobs aren't getting along... ... they had a falling out. ^^^^^^^I'll ^^^^^^^leave ^^^^^^^now..."
"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."
"I was disappointed after I won the grand prize on the game show last night. It was for a year supply of calendars."
"Why don't sharks bite lawyers? Professional Courtesy."
"Why do gay pirates always fight each other? They are always trying to get to the others booty"