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Joke of the Day

"I will do a lot of things but admiting I'm cold to my mom when she told me to bring a jacket is not one."

"What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad? Mediyolkre."

"A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with ""the look"" on her face."

"A nurse goes to sign a discharge form and pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket. 'Oh great, some arsehole's got my pen.'"

"I recently visited Japan It was great until I confused Kabuki with Bukake. Slightly messier and more dudes...which is odd cause I thought Kabuki is an all male thing."

"Why is dog man's best friend? Because it's the only way to have a bitch that doesn't talk."

"This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween. Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane."

"What has four wheels, and flies? A Garbage Truck."

"(Offensive) Old enough to count... Old enough to mount ;)"

"BOUNCER: *checking ID* this doesn't look like you CATERPILLAR: *adjusts makeshift wings* its me B: oh yeah? Fly then C: uh *starts sweating*"