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Joke of the Day

"I won't get a girl pregnant because I only have sex at night, when my sperm is asleep."

"Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them."

"On the Mexican side of the US-Mexico border, there are guards. On the US side, there are trampolines."

"Just killed a butterfly. Let's see how this changes all future events."

"I heard you are what you eat Must explain why your such a huge dick"

"Went to see my doctor and he told i was going to have to stop masturbating I asked why and he said ""Because im trying to examine you!"""

"Really struggling on what to get my lady for Christmas this year. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarrassing"

"What was Hitler's preferred breast size? Not C's. And off to hell I go."

"Jokes That don't work written down There were 30 cows in a field, twenty ate sheep, how many didn't?"

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."