19115

Joke of the Day

"My phone died, so I was forced to ""print"" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days"

"YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u"

"Teens today have it so easy. We didn't have self-checkout lanes when WE bought condoms."

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"So I went to a production about puns today... ...it was basically just a play, on words."

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? :D"

"How much does Jesus love you? Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)"

"Who is Vietnam's greatest superhero? Vietman."

"What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie? ""Hubble, Hubble."""

"Of course I can handle constructive criticism *resents you for the next 50 yrs"