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Joke of the Day

"Who won the first Tour de France? The Panzer SS 1st Division"

"Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not"

"Did you hear why the Quartz is divorcing her husband? She says he took her for Granite"

"What's Sideshow Bobs least favorite creepypasta? The Rake."

"Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III? Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was."

"Why do people always look so embarrassed walking down the street with a pizza box? Be proud man, you've got a pizza!"

"You know the old saying: If it ain't Baroque... ...then it was probably written by more experimental composers after ~1760."

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

"Bernie Sanders looks and sounds like the High Sparrow from GoT, but that's an unfair comparison. By next season, Reddit will still remember the High Sparrow."

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."