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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear why the Quartz is divorcing her husband? She says he took her for Granite"
Next Joke
"I told my vodka about you."
"Hey, want to hear a Top Gear joke? Morris Marina. badump-pshhh"
"me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking"
"Two nuns walk into a bar... The third one ducks."
"Why do farmers put bells on cows? Their horns don't work."
"What does Joe Pesci order at Burger King? An angry wopper."
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!"
"What do you call a terrible Nature Valley bar? Crummy"
"Three of five fingers were willing to cooperate but the thumb and forefinger were opposed!"