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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

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"Short joke What do you call a short person that knows Martial Arts? Midjitsu!"
"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."
"Why was the dog so depressed? He was having a hard time looking up."
"What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma"
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a nickel. I'd prob'ly make more if I tickled his pickle."
"Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. ""Attempt 7 of 25""."
"""You should leave your wife..."" The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning..."
"Why did the Chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide"
"People laugh cos I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?"