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Joke of the Day

"What's /r/blackpeopletwitter's favourite charity? ox-fam"

"I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Keemstar? Hitler knew when to kill himself."

"What's the difference between a penis and a testicle? (sfw) There's a vas deferens between them."

"What kind of bee makes milk? A boobie."

"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"

"Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and wont shut the fuck up."

"We found out today how many people it takes to hold me down for a flu shot."

"Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches? Because they were only a quideach"

"Why didn't they let Voldermort play quidditch? ...because he'd always just Slytherin the grass."