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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Hitler and Keemstar? Hitler knew when to kill himself."

"Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?"

"Did you guys hear about the man with the wooden leg named Smith? I don't think he named is other leg..."

"i don't see why i have to clean the shower. imo it is the shower's job to clean me"

"It's looking like Hillary is definitely going to win the election I think I might move to Benghazi, at least she'll leave me alone there."

"Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!"

"Hanging out with Helen Keller always made me feel like such a hipster. She'd never heard of any of the bands I like."

"My girlfriend's not up for being fisted tonight. I guess I'll just put my feet up."

"What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block!"

"Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there."