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Joke of the Day

"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"

"""My computer just crashed"" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm"

"I'd tell a 9/11 joke... But the only two I know always fall flat."

"Someone once asked me if I trust boobs... ...I said ""I put my faith in them"""

"Don't pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack."

"If you lower your expectations, you can never be disappointed... Lower them too far, and you'll end up in line for the new iPhone."

"You know its been a long night... [NSFW] When you stick the razor in the hooker, and your dick in the coke"

"A koala, a bear and a panda owned tea shops... But which one was the best? The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea."

"Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude."

"I was raised by my grandfather clock because my biological clock was never there."