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Joke of the Day

"Before scientists discovered... Before scientists discovered that the ""I before E except after C"" rule wasn't universal, they were called sceintists."

"My wife and I walked past a fancy restaurant She said ""Ohh , something smells nice"" So I decided to treat her - I let her walk past it a second time."

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"How does a grizzly catch fish? With his bear hands!"

"Why was the Mexican tire sad? Because it was despair"

"Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?"

"A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius."

"Why are New Yorkers so depressed?? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."

"Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dining room, patio..."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D"