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Joke of the Day

"A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius."

"What is Forest Gump's email password? 1forest1"

"I used to be a necrophiliac... til the rotten cunt split on me"

"TIL Today I learnt what TIL meant."

"What was the best time in history for the Italians? The Marin-era"

"Circle jerking For when you and your friends want to finish more than each other's sentences."

"Women are like pizza... They're better hot, but still good when they are cold."

"I don't know why people like to crack rape jokes They're a real touchy subject which rub others the wrong way"

"How long does it take for a Jew to get 100 meters far? It depends on the wind strength."

"I can never tell if my cat left a dead bird at my door, or if it's the dead bird I ordered from Amazon."