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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig!"

"[making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really."

"The mullet is a helmet for domestic violence."

"Tired? Cranky ? Feeling like crap .....There's a nap for that ."

"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."

"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""

"How to cool the craze for transgender surgery Install an irregular period with each new vagina and an enlarged prostate with each new penis"

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"Reddit is like a newspaper... ...all of the headlines happened yesterday."

"Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them."