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Joke of the Day
"Hmmm... Jack Nicholson. He's that guy from the Laker's games right?"
Next Joke
"Daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services."
"People Against Queuing, now thats a cause I can get behind!"
"What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman? To one you say, ""Hey you, get off my cloud!"" The other: ""Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"""
"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... Well my wife's 70, with a face like the back of a bus, and last night I taught her to light her own farts."
"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged and took it like a champ"
"Mermaids who never get married eventually accumulate a bunch of catfish."
"What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y."
"When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed."
"Sure I'll send you a shirtless selfie. Just let me work out for 6 months real quick."