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Joke of the Day

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *hands him a puppy and drives off* [3 years later] COP *walking his dog*: wait a second..."

"Whats the difference... Between a hormone and and enzyme? You cant hear an enzyme."

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"My jokes are like hot chicks Hard to get, and when you do they are not anywhere near as good as you thought they would be"

"You're Like The End Of The Bread... Everybody touches you, but nobody wants you."

"Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, ""guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."""

"Our dog is named lucky he often escapes, so we'll be up all night to get lucky"

"You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts."

"Redditors don't like this [Deleted]"

"Why is the show called SpongeBob when... Patrick is the star. Hurr durr. Tee-hee."