46004

Joke of the Day

"What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed? Just out of Curiosity..."

"Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home."

"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"

"Went early to my Tantric Sex class last night... Was told to come later."

"Bring on the Limericks! Belinda, a charming young lass Had a most magnificent ass. Twasn't rounded and pink, As you probably think, It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass."

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just sit around and compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"*bursts into starbucks* Me: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A POWER OUTLET Barista: yeah over there Me: oh thank god *plugs in a mechanical bull*"

"What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""

"What's the difference between a fish market and Nicki Minaj? One has halibut and one has hella butt."

"How many lazy people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Count for yourself..."