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Joke of the Day

"""Nice"" - first kangaroo to realise it had a pocket"

"What's worse then passing out at a party and getting a penis drawn on your forehead? Finding out that they traced it...."

"What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle."

"BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of."

"Chinese people want to criticize Ronda so bad after that fight.....but they cant. They just end up saying her name, Ronda Rousey"

"My mom asked me what causes dwarfism... I told her I didn't know as it is of little interest to me."

"Harry potter is the story of a troubled kid.... ...dealing what what an older man did to him in his bedroom as a child."

"A Black Man, Arab, priest, Jew, gay and a couple of disabled children walk into pub. Bartender says... ""This is just too much. I don't wan't to be part of this joke"" And he walks out."

"Nobody deserves to look that peaceful sleeping. SLAP."

"I'm afraid my dog is an alcoholic. She just can't seem to hold her licker."