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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public."

"If I get $1 for every racist joke.. I'd be rich enough and black people would start robbing me."

"Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know he won't tell me."

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down..."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."" he said."

"I got up early to watch the sunrise And then it dawned on me."

"Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men? Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, ""six plus"""

"Advises all the young people, ""Do not grow up; it's a trap!!"""

"I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar.. but she's already had her face on a Bill."

"What's the integral of 1/(cabin)? 1 natural log cabin. I'll show myself out."