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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: DirecTV subscribers lose The Weather Channel over fee dispute. Luckily, subscribers will keep windows, which they can look out of."

"I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks"

"What does a fish say when he hits concrete? Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an "" old guys rule"" shirt and a hardy fist bump."

"What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"Knock Knock. [My C#@&] Who's there? Mike. Mike Who?! Mike Och"

"Why would an upright vacuum cleaner with no wheels make a better President than Hillary Clinton? Well, they both suck and have trouble moving forward, but at least the vacuum has a handle on it."

"""If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours"" - Inventors of boomerangs"

"If FedEx and Ups merged would they call it Fed UP?"

"People who replace ""Christ"" with ""X"" are missing the whole point of what the ChristBox 360 is about."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree..... I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date."