45953

Joke of the Day

"Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it."

"Why did 10 die? He was in the middle of 9/11."

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little ""boogie"" in it."

"What do you call a Massachusite who cuts down trees? _In a New England accent..._ A Boston lager. . . . . . I made this up yesterday in the car."

"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""

"I almost got hit by a car just now, but it was a cool car and I'm looking pretty cool today so it would have been cool."

"Woman: ""I'm a sucker for a man in a suit and tie."" Man: ""You had me at 'I'm a sucker'."""

"The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it."

"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"

"Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six ! Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then !"