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Joke of the Day

"What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? ""I'm stuck on you!"""

"Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? He woke up."

"What did the spider say when he broke his new web ? Darn it !"

"I was in the gym. ""1,2,3,4,"" counted my personal trainer, as I panted. ""Come on,"" he added, ""Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"""

"Back then: You are the bomb, yo Future: You are the clock, yo"

"My wife asked me to go down to the shop to pick up six cans of sprite... When I got to the checkout I realized I accidentally picked 7-up."

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but that hard hat and pickaxe are pretty suspicious."

"I just found out that my geology professor passed away... my sediments go out to his family"

"Why is golf named ""golf""? Because all the other fore letter words were taken (Thanks to /u/bonerfar... this now makes sense...)"

"The little lizard was shocked when he found out how he was conceived. Anole sex"