134110

Joke of the Day

"I was in the gym. ""1,2,3,4,"" counted my personal trainer, as I panted. ""Come on,"" he added, ""Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"""

"When/why do feminists hate cannibals? When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading."

"I broke my finger today - but on the other hand I am completely fine."

"I'm constantly pretending I know what people are talking about."

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"I went to the store to buy condoms, the cashier asked me if I needed a bag. I told her ""No, she's not that ugly"""

"Here's a good one my dad told me.. A sober Irishman walks out of a bar.."

"Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?"

"I swear, the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty."

"What did the man say when he got his dancing robot to work? ""It twerks!"" I don't know how this came to me.."