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Joke of the Day

"In a perfect world I'd own a fertilizer / external hard-drive distribution company called Shits N Gigs."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture only needs one nail to hold up."

"What's a hippy mothers least favorite sport? Formula one!"

"Did you hear the one about the iphone 7 headphone jack? [Removed]"

"No. Skinny girls shouldn't be in charge of the office thermostat. You need a middle-aged woman with hot flashes named Brenda on the dial."

"I once knew two ranchers named Jim.... They had a thousand cattle between them. One night while unwaken. Their cattle were taken. My Jimmy's were rustled, shagrin."

"Nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of people? Imagine everyone is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt"

"Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear"

"Is it possible to have a joke that is not racist/sexist/politically incorrect or commenting on stereotypes? Challenge for reddit. Curious"

"I met a girl at a soccer game... ...I think she's a keeper"