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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture only needs one nail to hold up."

"Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. The Gravity of this Situation."

"When I was young I had a fairy God mother. She said I could have one wish, either a long memory or a long penis. I can't remember what I asked for."

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty."

"""Beep."" Zebra walking past a self service checkout."

"Longest verb What's the longest verb in the English language? Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter."

"What has four wheels and flies ? A rubbish bin !"

"I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. ""I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."""

"Mexican Olympics Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Sorry comments are unavailable on this joke."