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Joke of the Day
"Why can't your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.."
Next Joke
"Why Donald Trump will be one term president? One can only trump the nation once!"
"I Feel Really Safe There are police helicopter circling my house."
"Warning: Never play poker with Tarot cards... I got a full house once and 4 people died"
"Newton's third law of Emotion. For every male action, there is a female overreaction."
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits, and the other fucks between shits."
"Hour 3: The group of hipsters has accepted me. However, the leader seems suspicious of the cinnamon roll man bun I taped on top of my head."
"How do you catch a wild bra? Set a booby trap."
"I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets."
"What is a baby's favorite Fall Out Boy song? Thanks For The Mammaries"