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Joke of the Day

"Why can't your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.."

"What do you call a dwarf tattoo artist? An Inkling."

"A quick joke that my friend thought up over dinner Why do sailors marry busty women? To forever see the seven C's"

"Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I'd probably have done better if they'd specified that they didn't mean by tickling."

"Today I realised I really want to tie the knot with the missus. Anyone know where I can find instructions for noose tying?"

"Two clean jokes that start dirty. What's brown and sticky? A STICK! What's a foot long and slippery? A SLIPPER!"

"Ever been kicked in the shin because you don't have any Fruit Loops? Welcome to parenthood."

"How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits."

"How did the mathematician get rid of his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"If Trump or Hillary really cared about America they never would have agreed to a debate in the middle of a Monday Night Football game."