173169

Joke of the Day

"Two clean jokes that start dirty. What's brown and sticky? A STICK! What's a foot long and slippery? A SLIPPER!"

"Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away"

"[getting murdered] Me: ""Could you please stop for a second?"" *gives murderer a Snickers"

"I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked. Some even like getting pead on. Don't turnip your nose at this."

"Any ideas for 'insults' that have no right answer? For example: did you get caught beating off in the corner? Love these types of jokes but can only think of a couple right now. Thanks!"

"Women are good politicians... Because they know how to introduce bills in the house."

"Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids? He can't get to 3rd base"

"First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot? Second Caribou: Micky Moth!"

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years time... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he/she has to want to change."