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Joke of the Day

"I'm going back to my surgeon to get my dressing changed tomorrow. Or, to put it another way... I'm seeking redress from the man who cut me."

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"What do Mexican parents and good reddit comments have in common? They have lots of children."

"After a long search, I finally found the French cologne I was looking for... It was hiding behind the American cologne"

"Jared and zits What's the difference between Jared and Acne? Acne doesn't come on a kids face until there a teenager!"

"Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any"

"Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?"

"If you put on BBC news and told me it was Downton Abbey, I'd watch for like 20 min before I asked ""For real, tho?"""

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"

"I had a sudden, albeit extremely belated, realization about Jared from Subway His career ended the way it began: trying to get into smaller pants."