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Joke of the Day

"Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?"

"Therapist: Talk about your friends. Me: Now John at the bar is a friend of mine... T: That's a Billy Joel song. Me: You're no fun."

"Im a guy who's into BDSM, necrophilia, and beastiality. Am i just flogging a dead horse?"

"How do you get negative inflation ? Deflation."

"I wanted to watch the inauguration today But Eisenhower late."

"*National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S."

"AY LMAO's in a bar. Two aliens are sitting in a pub. One of them turns to the other and says, plububulaBBHAJGGIUI@@#GJKG?' The other one replies, Dude, you are seriously shitfaced.'"

"Ten years ive been looking for a play on words to impress my friends.. No pun in ten did."

"I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them."

"""Oh my god, it's a genie!"" GENIE: Please, we prefer magic-american"