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Joke of the Day

"The New 20 dollar bill I have a serious question for you guys. If a woman gets payed $.75 for every dollar a man gets payed, does that mean that the $20 dollar bill will only be worth $15?"

"Making an effort in 2013 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone."

"It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work."

"What is the difference between a yogurt and america? If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture."

"I hope one day they invent a car named ""The S-Car"" Because everyone will see it and say, ""Look at that S-Car go!"""

"How do you get dragon pee? Drop your catheter bag."

"If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons."

"My hand sanitizer smells like vodka. This gives me an idea! ........OK, that wasn't a very good idea."

"Have you heard about the music stores percussion sale? Their prices can't be beat Have you heard about their guitar sale? The prices are solo"

"When they were saying ""we will find a good home for him"" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!"