4562

Joke of the Day

"How do New Zealanders practice safe sex? (NSFW) They paint a red X on the back of the sheep that kick."

"How are procrastination and masturbation alike? At first it's all fun, but in the end you realize you're just screwing yourself."

"*renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well you can jelly your cock up her ass!"

"My math teacher called me average How mean."

"Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb it's a globe."

"How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy? They have a semillon!"

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days."

"Why was the piano teacher arrested? He kept fingering A minor."

"A Czech one: God is carrying a bag of dicks... ...when he suddenly trips over a rock and all the dicks fall out. He gets pissed off: ""I'm not going to pick them up, Prague's going to be here!"""