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Joke of the Day

"My mom was supposed to die in the 9/11 incident.. I think - Anthony Jeselnik"

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"Don't mind me, just practicing how to make tables on reddit :---------|:---------|:--------- |Winner|loser|description"

"Why was the corn farmer paranoid? Because the field has ears."

"Hello everyone Where are u from?"

"I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't."

"What did Truman Burbank's father say to him? Don't you worry don't you worry child, Seahaven's got a plan for you"

"Why did the chicken have a seance? To get to the other side"

"I tried to read through Dante's Inferno once, but it was dry as hell."

"Pregnant women go through a ""nesting"" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed."