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Joke of the Day

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"I've kept my tamagotchi alive for the past 15 years, so yeah Mom, I know what it's like to raise an ""ungrateful little prick"""

"Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example."

"Dad got his son a birthday card A dad got his son a bday card that said ""Holey cow! It's your birthday!"" And it had a picture of a cow with holes in it."

"I was at a very awkward party last night in an Igloo. I tried to break the ice, but it just made things worse."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice."

"What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ? Reptiles !"

"""You never say you love me,"" wept my girlfriend. I walked up to her and said, ""You love me."""

"Do you know what a woman says in the bedroom when she sees a big dick? No, me neither."

"My body is a temple But only because it hates Palestine. *Anthony Jeselnik*"