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Joke of the Day

"Let my legacy to this whole thing be a single outstretched middle finger with fire where a fingernail should be"

"I hope no one I know ever has an emergency that they can't text me about. Because, answering my phone? No thanks."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning... gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head."

"how did the constipated... How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem... He just worked it out with a pencil."

"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."

"China has developed a liquid metal that can transform into any shape. While the U.S. has created a breakfast sandwich with Hash Browns now at Taco Bell."

"I would tell a chemistry joke.. But all the good ones Argon"

"I have a great knock-knock joke But someone else has to start. Go"

"Birdhood A single shot film with no cuts and a running time of 12 years."