117356

Joke of the Day

"What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed? Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY? Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)"

"Five Construction Workers Walk Into a Bar They should have been looking where they were going"

"Instagram couldn't complete your request at this time because nobody cares about your Sunday brunch."

"What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a bad joke?"

"A one liner for the holiday, say no to drugs... Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licksalotapuss. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass."

"My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game"

"What is crucial to any joke about ISIS? The execution"

"I was playing guitar and someone asked if I could play Wonderwall ...I said maybe.."

"11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer."