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Joke of the Day

"What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed? Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY? Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)"

"There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom."

"You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life."

"What's the temperature inside a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend? He dates his other sister."

"What is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day, while anal sex makes your hole weak."

"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."

"*sees sister's facebook post that her dog died* how do i tell her i love her & i'll always be there for her *clicks sad face button* perfect"

"I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times"

"What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving? Derive, derive, derive!"