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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers."

"I've finally figured out why I can't lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, ""4 extra volume & body"

"Why are refugees bad at math? They refuse to integrate."

"Q: ""Hey Dad, how was your business trip to Southeast Asia?"" A: ""Terrible son. In fact, It was downright Laosy"""

"I was on the subway when someone sneezed on me. I was so disgusted, I turned to him and said ""People like you make me sick."""

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive."

"A Freudian slip is when you want to say one thing but end up fucking your mother."

"Saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence today... It was udder destruction."