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Joke of the Day
"I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon."
Next Joke
"What did the man without a voicebox say to the person next to him?"
"What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian? Where the ""eh"" is in the sentence. Canadian: ""How you doin, eh?"" Italian: ""Eh! How you doin?"""
"Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted."
"Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided... ...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand."
"How many of you are household pets reading tweets while your owners nap?"
"How did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms"
"When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great. Now, they're outstanding!"
"An Alzheimer's patient walks into bar... to get to the other side."
"How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? (x-post from r/gaming) Four fingers and a thu'um."