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Joke of the Day

"God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?"

"What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up? A Dell."

"Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar"

"I woke up to find that someone pooped in my slow cooker. What a crock of shit!"

"Why would no one listen to the percussion section? Because they couldn't drum up enough support."

"Bruce Jenner Coffee! It's so mild that it can change a strong man into a gentle lady with only two sips, and about $100,000 in cosmetic surgery."

"What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens? The Bawking Dead"

"My mum is a midwife and she always messes up jokes... Which is strange, because I thought midwives were great at delivery."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming."

"Do you know how to tell if a date rapist put a roofie in your drink? Wanna beer?"