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Joke of the Day

"I woke up to find that someone pooped in my slow cooker. What a crock of shit!"

"The sexts are coming from inside the house!"

"I said to my wife, 'Hey, I really love these new furry condoms.'' 'Bob, that's a cat.'"

"Oldest boy band in the world One erection"

"Sometimes taste is not a flavor, and class is not something you attend."

"Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2? It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!"

"If I were Zorro, I'd hand out business cards with a Z on them. That way I wouldn't have to take my sword everywhere."

"Wife walks up to husband and asks for money Wife: I need some money to buy a bra Husband: do you think you have breasts big enough to buy a bra? Wife: when you bought boxers, did I say anything?"

"Can you identify yourself Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis. So far it's got 3 Reichs on Facebook."