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Joke of the Day

"I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no. He just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair."

"What did the cow say in winter? Oh my god. I'm Friesian!"

"My mind is a micro-government, fighting wars of its own creation for profit."

"TIL Today I learnt what TIL meant."

"What's Darth Vader's sister's name? Elle Vader. *Badum tsssss*"

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite... This post is not longer available due to a trademark claim by Fine Brothers Entertainment."

"Just saw a guy on rollerblades. He was surprisingly sweat-free for having presumably ""bladed"" here from 1991."

"The girl I like checked me out today. I gave her money, and she gave me groceries."

"Two Condoms Two condoms are walking down the street and pass a gay bar. The first condom turns, looks at the other and asks; Wanna get shit faced?"

"Would I miss my leg or my arm more? (me, lying in bed, deciding which to put outside the blanket for the monster under the bed to rip off)"