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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a guy on rollerblades. He was surprisingly sweat-free for having presumably ""bladed"" here from 1991."

"why don't you see elephants hiding in the trees that often? because they're really fucking good at it"

"If gas prices keep going up I'm cutting off the bottom of my car and I'm ""Flintstoning"" That mf!"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, ""look what's telling me that"""

"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"

"Power Rangers taught me that the way to solve a problem is to pose in front of it aggressively until it explodes"

"Pranks I think pranks are incredibly immature. They're such a childish way to interact with your friends and family. Why would anyone...lol jk! Gotcha, I love pranks!"

"I went for a job at NASA yesterday. Everything was going well until they asked me what my ambitions were. I replied, ""The sky's the limit!"" and they told me to fuck off!"

"Did you hear about the autistic guy that sat on his food at Fuddrucker's? Turns out he just had Aspergers."

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."