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Joke of the Day

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite... This post is not longer available due to a trademark claim by Fine Brothers Entertainment."

"If you ever see me in a restaurant, please approach my table and do your Drunk Uncle impression. Especially if I'm with family or a girl."

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell today! Technically he said, 'Less McDonalds' but I'm pretty sure I knew what he meant."

"FINALLY in Toronto. Winter Olympics, here I come!"

"My wife once told me that she ingested fecal matter while in the womb I like to give her crap about it."

"My favourite part about the Harry Potter movies... ...is the casting."

"What do you get when you cross the Russian mafia and the Yakuza? Killed."

"""You won't like me when I take my estrogen pill."" -Bruce Jenner"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted"

"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."