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Joke of the Day
"My mind is a micro-government, fighting wars of its own creation for profit."
Next Joke
"A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry. We don't serve food."""
"What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead ant Dead ant Dead ant dead ant dead ant Dead ant dead annnnnnt Dead ant"
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Easy to have sex with."
"I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added ""Mother*ucker"" to his vocabulary."
"Whats better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ"
"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."
"If you saw a heat wave.... Would you wave back?"
"A short one for classical musicians I once owned a frying pan that once belonged to the great Leopold Stokowski. It was non-stick."
"The New York Yankees Officially Sign Adrian Peterson They needed a good switch hitter."