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Joke of the Day

"Don't have phone sex! You might get hearing aids."

"What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say? I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!"

"I feel like a crushed Coke can on the sidewalk. Soda pressed."

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? In the case of the bmw, the pricks are on the inside."

"Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started."

"Did you see the gorgeous girl doing the taser demonstration? She was stunning."

"From a funny Twitter post If rather die than commit suicide."

"Roses are red, Twitter is blue, you look bangable, so I'll follow you"

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic parking lot? Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger."

"Beware of alphabet grenades... Beware of alphabet grenades, if you throw them it could spell disaster..."