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Joke of the Day

"Playing Guess Who these days is hard ""Is your person white?"" ""Excuse me?"" ""Is your person white?"" ""I don't see skin color I just see people"""

"The future Someone asked me the other day if I could see where I would be in 5 years. Come on man, I wear glasses. I don't have 2020 vision."

"29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS."

"The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99* Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind Redditor!"

"What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator? Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it."

"Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa."

"A termite walks into a bar... And says, ""is the bar tender here?"""

"Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder"

"What do you call a Vietnamese wedding? A Win-Win situation."

"What's nine inches long, has a bright purple top, and made my wife cry when I fed it to her after jamming it up her ass? Her stillbirth"