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Joke of the Day

"What's ET short for...? Because he's got little legs."

"Why was the broom late? Because it overswept."

"Do you think a contortionist would go on a date with me? Even if I couldn't fit in her box?"

"How did realism get me banned from Facebook? I sided with cancer on the ""Kids VS Cancer"" page."

"What do you call it when someone is mistaken about you having a penis? A phallusy"

"My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it."

"Sometimes it's fun to walk out of the ladies room licking your fingers."

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription"

"There's no 72 virgins, guess where terrorists actually go when they die? *explosion* EVERYWHERE!"